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I blog, but not really on a regular basis ;)


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Icon: LJ/sixthmile
Layout: tuesdaynight
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery

Do something for our kids.
Written on: Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Time: 11:34 AM

Hopeless. Losing of faith.

That's how I describe the world today. As we read the news and learn about the misfortune other countries have and how cruel humans can actually be, I'm starting to lose hope for the world. Everyday, we hear about the worsening problems the world is facing, acts of cruelty etc etc.

Just when we start to lose hope for the world, "Kony 2012" brings back some of the hope in us, reminding us that there are still people out there fighting for the rights of the less-priviliged. We then start to doubt ourselves whether this is really true as more and more credible sources tell us that "Kony 2012" is actually a scam in disguise.

Is it myopic to say that we would never achieve world peace? Yes.

What are we really studying for, really. To survive, you dumbass brainless idiot.
Yes, that's simply what we are trying to achieve isn't it? In this unpredictable world (and I don't even need to justify that! It's just so blatant isn't it, what's with the turnover of certain events overnight) where people start losing faith in surviving, I guess education would lay down the path neccessary for us to learn how to survive.

However, I doubt we can really achieve world peace. It certainly sounds disheartening to say this but let's face the fact: what are the odds that in a world filled with billions of people, all of us have the same ideologies and we would not be selfish when it comes down to survival?

To survive, most of us would be focusing on the word survive, even if the process of achieving that is merciless/inhumane..

But wait, there's always a flip-side. I do genuinely believe that in this world, there are certainly groups of people that desperately wants to show the world our unity, that the majority of us can face the challenges together as one. The thing is, they are afraid just like most of us do. They are afraid of doing something so big because it's definitely not easy. Trust is a huge barrier they need to overcome. On top of that, organisations would definitely think of a gazillion ways to shoot them down if their interest were to interfere with their profit-earning interests. Which is to say, almost all other organisations will be unsupportive of such a thing. But can we still hope?

We can't just pray that things will change overnight.
We need to start doing something. Start small at least for people like us.
We need to act for our kids.

Do we want to bring them into a world filled with war and uncertainites? Do we want them to enter a world, much worse than it already is because if we do not act now, the burden would lie on our kids. Gender discrimination, environmental issues etc. All these require minimal effort from us.

Stop discriminating against others, judge them on their behaviours and not how they look. Stop wasting food for food shortage would soon pose a problem to the world. Simple actions yet having a multiplier effect.

P.s. I don't know what's got into me recently. Just feel like pen-ing down some thoughts of mine LOL. Hope you enjoy reading what I wrote. (I'm sure there would be parts you do not agree but it's okay)

I need to believe in something
Written on: Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Time: 3:40 AM

Faith.

Ok I have a revelation. I'm dying from overload of stress.
I never really had faith even though I did believe in something. It just wasn't so strong. But when times are bad like this and life just looks as bleak as it will ever get (perhaps an over-exaggeration here), believing in something really helps. I guess it just helps to keep life going, rather than me just sitting at one dark corner and get emotional over all the things etc. Not gonna help! :X

This has been a hell-of-a-year for me. (haha how ironic!) I came to understand so much from these committments and somehow or rather, I find myself becoming a much stronger person. I mean, its all these experiences and stuff that creates more perspectives for us and through these perspectives, we are better able to view things more rationally right? :)

Sometimes, humans (not safe to say all, but most I believe) only understand the concept/meaning of something after getting an experience. When we were young, adults always tell us to study hard because it would give us a better future etc.

Did we listen? Hell no, the rebellious us were busy playing maple, going out etc.
Look at us now. Getting all hyped up over small tests, worrying so much about our future. I guess it's just these experiences of perhaps failing tests, knowing how bad you are compared to others and seeing how results really play a role in ascertaining your future etc really helped shaped our perspective.

It's not all that healthy though.
It feels so ironic for me to say this because on one hand, we all know competition is unhealthy and that results are not everything etc BUT on the other hand, there we (most of us) are treating failure as the end of life. I, for one, do that all the time. :/

But hey what's the point I'm driving at?
I guess humans, especially Asians I believe, still have a long way to go in terms of viewing failure. The information are all there, we all know we should/shouldn't do this and that but when it comes to actual practise, all these information just lay low at the back of our brain and become "instantaneously forgotton".
You can't really expect us (well at least for me...) to suddenly feel indifferent to a paper that reads "F". It takes time. Definitely.

What I learnt is that we should always be prepared for something.
This way, no matter how badly we do, we would at least expect the outcome to be proportional to our preparation. Honestly but sadly, (I feel that) failures are just an indication of how bad the preparation was :X

True but when people start hating you...
Written on: Saturday, February 18, 2012
Time: 5:48 PM


Only experience will allow one to understand the situation
Written on: Friday, February 17, 2012
Time: 8:56 AM

So, it has been a while since I blogged about random stuff.
Even though blogging no longer have a place in today's society (I feel), it still exists as a rather good platform for one to relieve certain thoughts when all those thoughts are stuck in you (and you just don't know how to "release" them...)

Today, I felt as if I wasted time doing all the things I thought were worthy of my time.
Today I felt hopeless and almost a sense of desperation; with no one to turn to.
Today, I felt lost and disappointed at what others think of me.

My intentions were definitely not bad, do I even look like that kind of person? The problem may lie in the way I communicate certain things but really, the reactions I receive is as if I murdered someone. (assuming one would look at you in disbelief and just look at you as a hopeless individual when you murder someone...)

People have no idea how much stress I'm handling right now. I'm really tired, sometimes honestly, I really will just crank up and feel like disconnecting myself from this unpredictable world but my willpower prevented that from happening.

I thoroughly hate this whole feeling I'm experiencing right now. It sucks. The people you once knew all became stranger-like to you. You have no certainty of the future and slowly, these friendships just weaken.

And the saddest thing is that all I can do is just sit there and watch all these happen. I have no solution(s) because I don't even know the root of the problem. I feel hurt, just by the simple fact that everyone is blaming me for something I do not know. After doing so much things, at the end of the day, you are much worse off than you initially began.

So much things changed within the year. Reverting back to the old me, the unconcerned me about everything in life and just happily play maple and enjoy every bit of life, sounds so enticing now since I'm such a failure in everything I do, even relationships. Unexpectancy is indeed an extremely good word to describe the world today.

I once thought I have everything, but really, it's actually nothing.

An interesting random thought.
Written on: Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Time: 7:31 PM

2009 - "Wow omg the snrs look so ridiculous wearing that JC uniform!"
2010 - "Oh dear lord, I'm wearing the uniform-.-"
2011 - "HAHA, the Year 4s looks so funny wearing that uniform."
2012 - "HOLY MAMA, the Year 3s are going to wear the JC uniform already?? WTF, SINCE WHEN DID TIME PASS SO FAST."

Yep, fact of life: We are too concerned with ourselves some times that we often fail to realize that the people around us are growing up/old too.

Just another typical day, awaiting the end of 2011.
Time: 9:44 AM

I'm back to blogging. Oh well, I guess blogging is just like doing homework - you need the mood. More than often, that is just a lame excuse of not doing homework; something we call procrastination. We all love procrastination, but at the end of the day, as we are rushing our homework, we just regret doing it.

2011 is ending in 2 days' time. Having survived 17 years of my life, awaiting a new year should be a norm isn't it? But hell-to-the-no, each year during this period, I would be thinking what next year would be like and perhaps do better in some things...

I have been anticipating 2012 since I think 2 years ago? I mean 2012 is just such a packed year. With A levels coming, etc etc and DOOMSDAY.
I mean all these speculation about the world ending AFTER MY A LEVELS (TYVM, SPECULATORS) just adds on to the list of 2012 exciting events.

Anyway, it would be really sad to die after your A levels. I mean you just wasted your entire effort for nothing.

Oh and I watched this really hilarious drama recently - I not Stupid Too Drama or something like that. Omg everyone should go and watch it, it's just so funny.
I think Jack Neo is a really talented person. But how exactly do we judge a person? Do we judge Jack Neo based on his notorious sex scandals or do we judge him by his talent in the numerous successful movies he directed?

You would find yourself answering the former subconsciously because at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try to forget one's wrongdoings, the moment you see that person, his/her wrongdoings would just appear in your head.
You just can't help it.


Some things just fade out after awhile. For instance blogging.
Written on: Saturday, December 24, 2011
Time: 9:15 AM

Merry Xmas people! It has been god-knows-when since I last blogged. And I guess no matter what, it always feels awkward when I start blogging after a long while, just like how we feel the awkwardness when we hold a pen after a long holiday.

I guess blogging on Christmas is just so different, in a sense that you are actually blogging about something, instead of ranting off some nonsensical stuff like your daily life, which I'm pretty sure will turn people off completely. (well not that blogging about Christmas will turn you on...)

All I can say is that although no one really spent Christmas eve and Christmas with me this year, it was a pretty reflective day. I mean as we are busy with our daily lives and as the year flashes past us so quickly, sometimes, we just need to sit back and think about what really happened throughout the year.

2011 has been a really wonderful year. (Oh gosh, why am I blogging like this is the last day of 2011 -.-) I made some really close friends and I think I really learnt a lot (in terms of all aspects actually). However, I do feel that I'm abit bitchy sometimes and despite that being a "form" of me, I must really cut down on that and be more presentable haha ;)

Just watched a Christmas movie (Idk why I did that but I guess watching a Christmas movie on Christmas eve just adds in the Christmas atmosphere?) and I realised that in life, we don't really get to choose the path we want to take. What's important is having a positive mind!

And in every movie there must always be romance. As I'm growing older, I guess somehow or rather, love just comes to mind.
Sucks to be lonely though...

Lesson learnt but probably eternal regret.
Written on: Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Time: 11:47 PM

Today sucked.
Yeah, you guessed it. Results.

Being in a highly competitive and meritocratic society, students like us really value results as much as our lives. We care so much to the extent that it can turn our happiness into sorrow almost instantly.
We have to change that but it takes time.

For now, I just feel like wallowing in my own sorrow.

It's time like this you start to think of the "What ifs" and start to have regrets. I just hope mine does not turn into an eternal one.

Don't lose track of your aim,
for this isn't the end of the game.

Post-ABC notions
Time: 6:51 AM

I came back from camp about a day ago.
So, what are my thoughts about this camp?

Alright, to be honest I wasn't really ready to accept what awaits me at the camp. As I have mentioned before, I am quite physically challenged. So yeah my biggest obstacle. I was caught off guard when I became the Section Leader (got saboed actually..) because hell, the thought of "I probably can't handle myself, how the heck am I gonna handle my section.." really scares me. (Turns out there wasn't really much to do)

I don't really feel like mentioning all the activites we did there because some things are best left unsaid. On the whole, the camp turned out to be better than expected and I am really quite proud of myself for not giving up and adapt to conditions quite easily!

Sometimes in life, we just have to lower our expectations. Why say so? Because if you managed to surpass your expectations, the feeling of accomplishment is great.
I would hence like to highlight a certain point Mr Koh mentioned just before all the boys set out for the ABC.
He mentioned that the school spent a large sum of money (best not to reveal the exact amount here) on this camp and honestly, some of us expected much more. Some of the logistics and stuffs weren't really good and I understand that the teachers are doing their best to simulate ABC to that of the army, the money however can be pumped into other areas like perhaps better food, more maps ..? Just saying.

During the ABC, I managed to really assess some of the PE teachers. 1 or 2 are really good speakers while others erm are just trying to act fierce or something.

Ok, to be frank, I don't really agree with the system that works in the army. I'm not exactly a conformist and from the talks I received during the camp, I get the sense that soldiers are banned from giving opinions because things like blanket party, punishments etc would result.
Don't get me wrong, this may not be a bad thing. In times of war, we should listen to such commands and if we start to have disputes among ourselves, half the battle is lost.

However, this should not be greatly emphasised. People do have a voice inside them and there is a dying need for these voices to be expressed. Ever wondered why Facebook and other social networks are so popular. It's because these provide a platform for people to voice out their opinions with ease.

Singaporeans on the whole are generally followers. They just follow orders and hence pretty much lack creativity. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know.
Yet as viewed from GE and PE 2011, the urgency to be heard is greatly emphasised. The new generation of people no longer follow the footsteps of the previous generations where they mostly just follow.

Ok, I think I'm talking rubbish but yeah just some random thoughts of mine haha.
The fact is, I'm using this blog post to mask my fear of what awaits me tmr - getting back all my results at one go.